Friday, January 29, 2010

Friday night at the bar

Well I got off work early tonight, and I'm very happy to be home! The restaurant was pretty slow tonight, but I managed to make decent tips anyway. I was really not in the mood to deal with rude people tonight, and there were plenty of them, so it's a good thing I got sent home early. Earlier tonight a woman with pink hair, gold teeth, and way too low rise jeans, approached the bar and asked for a "watermelon martini." My manager made her martini, and served it to her. She then proceeded to take a sip and say "oooh, thas nasty, I don wan it." When asked what was wrong with it, she said "it taste like pure alcohol." Well...that's pretty much what martinis are people. She said she'd rather have a strawberry daiquiri. So.... my manager dumped the "nasty" martini in the blender, added strawberry mix and ice, and blended it up. The pink haired woman thought it was delicious. I thought it was pretty funny.

We're supposed to get a few inches of snow tonight...we'll see. Wanna bet that every grocery store in Kentucky is out of milk and bread? Oh people.... you crack me up.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Good vs. Evil

Over and over in life we're told that if you do the "right" thing, and if you're a good person, that things will work out. I mostly believe this is the case. Then again, there's times in life when "unforeseen occurrences" happen...when we're simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. A car accident, an earthquake, an act of violence. And then there are the emotional disasters that catch us all of guard, when we are taken advantage of, betrayed, abandoned, or lied to. Does this mean that we've done something wrong? Is God punishing us? Are we simply getting what we deserve? No. I do not believe that. The Bible says that "with evil things God cannot be tried, nor does he himself try anyone." (James 1:13). But the Bible also promises "seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you." (Matthew 6:33)

Some, as I do, believe in the Bible. Some believe in Karma, others simply in goodwill. Whatever it is you believe in.... this I know: Good will always conquer evil. And though things might not always go our way, though we deal with tragedy, and sometimes might lose hope, I believe in doing the right thing.

I couldn't have said it better myself:

"Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What are we doing to women!?

Did anyone see today's Oprah about our food!? I loved it and can't wait to read "Kind Diet." I am a huge believer in eating "whole" foods and staying away from the processed stuff. And though I'm a vegetarian, I do buy meat and dairy for my husband but ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS the grain fed, anti-biotic free stuff. The first thing that got me started on this was actually learning about what all of those hormones that the animals are given, do to our hormones. I'm an Arbonne Independent Consultant, and since we sell a natural progesterone cream, I've attended many hormone seminars. Here is some fabulous information from Dr. Deanna Osborn that I think is worth sharing:

What Are We Doing To Women?!!

Family Physician Reevaluates Traditional Hormone Treatment

By Dr. Deanna Osborn, D. O.

Hormone imbalance is an epidemic among American women causing many ailments from severe PMS to breast cancer. Estrogen dominance is thought to be the culprit of hormone imbalance.

Symptoms of hormone imbalance include:


Hot flashes

Difficulty with concentration

Hair loss

Vaginal dryness

Loss of sex drive

Certain auto immune disorders

Migraine headaches

Mood swings




Fluid retention

Irregular menstrual cycles

Heavy bleeding during menses

Thinning hair

Fibrocystic breasts

Symptoms of slow thyroid

Sleep disturbances

Uterine fibroids

Unexplained weight gain

Dry, thin, wrinkly skin

A recent journal article published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) July 2002, entitled The Women’s Health Initiative Study, found that traditional HRT (hormone replacement therapy) increased the incidence of breast cancer, stroke, heart attacks, blood clots and pulmonary embolus even within the first year of therapy. The results were so overwhelming that the FDA ruled it was unethical to continue the study because it was putting women at too much risk for serious side effects.

Here’s how we were designed:

Estrogen is the dominant hormone during the first half of a woman’s monthly cycle. It is a growth hormone and is responsible for proliferation (growth) of cells in the lining of the uterus so that a fertilized egg can implant. Progesterone is the hormone we should find in the second half of the cycle. It is released into the body when a woman ovulates. It is responsible for sustaining the newly fertilized egg that has implanted in the uterine lining.

Progesterone also functions to:

Restore sex drive and support fertility

Act as a natural diuretic

Stimulate new bone formation

Act as a natural antidepressant

Normalize blood sugar levels

Restore normal vascular tone

Protect against fibrocystic breasts

Normalize blood sugar level

Protect against endometrial, ovarian,

prostate and breast cancer

Reduce incidence of autoimmune disorders

Facilitate thyroid hormone action

Help use fat for energy

A 1996 Johns Hopkins study concluded that women low in natural progesterone have an 80% higher risk of developing breast cancer and that the risk of developing other malignant cancers increases ten fold.

How do our hormones become unbalanced?

Hormones and our health become unbalanced due to stress, hormone replacement, diet, and environment.

1. Stress: Studies show that by age 34, 50% of the women in America have no progesterone. American women are always on the go, go, go. This causes increased stress which depletes our bodies of its own progesterone. When our bodies are stressed, we make cortisol, a hormone that uses progesterone as a building block. In addition, when a woman’s body is stressed she may not ovulate, and therefore not produce progesterone, furthering the downward cycle.

2. RX’s: We consume a tremendous amount of prescription hormones in birth control pills, hormone replacement therapies (HRT), etc. (Please note that Progestin – used in HRT is not the same as natural progesterone.) These prescriptions further add to the imbalance by adding more estrogen to the problem.

3. Diet: One of the most appalling contributions to the imbalance is found in what we eat. Beef, chicken and pork all contain estrogen. They are fed estrogen as a growth hormone to get them to the market more quickly. Sugar, refined starches, and petrochemical infused foods all add to the problem. (When plastics are heated in the microwave, they emit certain toxic, carcinogenic (cancer causing) chemicals.)

4. Environment: Petroleum based products like mineral oil (baby oil); most soaps, skin care and hair care; plastics, pesticides, detergents, etc. are found to be sources of xenoestrogens (or “false estrogens”) – which bind up our estrogen receptors and cause hormone imbalance in the body. (Any product placed on the skin that contains mineral oil actually dehydrates the basal cell layer of skin contributing to premature aging, not to mention that it is a gasoline byproduct and carcinogenic.)

What can we do to protect ourselves?

For starters we can balance the estrogen dominance by supplementing with natural progesterone cream. When looking for a natural progesterone cream it is important to look for USP grade progesterone, at 20 mg. per dose. Look for a product that is in an airtight, metered dose pump container such as Arbonne International’s Natural Balancing Cream. (Products in jars are oxidized when exposed to air; they are usually hand mixed which can separate, as opposed to machine mixed, and are usually formulated in a mineral oil base.) Arbonne’s Natural Balancing cream is formulated in a botanical (plant) base, not mineral oil which interferes with absorption.

When possible, buy organic meats and produce. Many health food stores, co-ops, and local grocery stores carry organic. Never use plastics in the microwave. Do not use products on your skin that contain any mineral oil or petroleum based products.

What else can be done?

Supplement your diet with quality vitamins, minerals and antioxidants. They must meet the US Pharmacopeia (USP) standard of 30 minutes disintegration time or they will pass through the digestive tract unused.

The Cancer Prevention Coalition released a statement on June 17, 2002 stating that mainstream cosmetics and personal hygiene products pose the highest cancer risk, due to exposures, to the general public – higher than smoking.

Use personal products for your body that are pure and safe.

For testimonials and general information log on to

For research information on natural progesterone log on to

Wed-Nes-Day and Happy Things

It's Wednesday!
(I just noticed that whenever I write the word Wednesday, I pronounce it in my head as "Wed-Nes-Day," anyone else do that? No?... It's just me? Well, okay then.)

Hope you are all having a lovely day! The sun is shining here and that always puts me in a good mood. Here are some other things that do too:

Wearing my skinny jeans with my tallest high heels.

(Heels make everything look better.)

Not having to set an alarm clock... pure bliss!

When Yoda sits on my shoulders like he is right now.

(.... he's sooo cute!!!)


(Cause they are simply delicious.)


Finding lost money in the pocket of my jeans!

Laughing until it hurts.

Parties with a theme!





And "Friends"

What puts you in a good mood?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Am I not like a new day?

Did I ever tell you that I'm a published writer? No?... well, I am. My grandmother, Joyce Murphy Smith, is a writer. She published a book of poetry called "Kentucky Heartstrings" back in 2003, and she included among her writings a poem that I wrote at the age of 11. big debut!

I think that my passion for literature, poetry, theater, and art in general came from her. Growing up we'd sit and paint, write poems, dress up, and lip sync to songs just for the fun of it. We've always understood each other.

(I know, not the most flattering of pics, but it's the only one on my computer!)
I have always loved to read her poetry. Here's one of my favorites:

The Dawning

How nice the dawning of a new day is so gentle,
For people like me, who awaken slowly.
Some can come awake, full of energy!
I was never like that.
I have to creep up on the morning, for somehow waking
Is an insult to my senses.

As I sit and sip that first cup of coffee, I marvel
At people who can awaken and be awake with such energy.
I marvel at them, but I don't want to be like them.
I rather enjoy the slow awakening I go through.
After all, does the sun suddenly burst into the sky?
Or, does it, like me, slowly come to life?
Do all the birds start to sing at once?
Or does one start the melody,
And other join the chorus?
Does a rose suddenly spring open?
Or does it slowly and gently unfold?
And does the dew so swiftly dry up,
As though it's never been?

But, when finally these things reach their zenith,
When the rhythm of life has been set,
Then the new day, in harmony, has begun.

Am I not like a new day?

-Joyce Murphy Smith

(Oh...and in other news... is it just me or was Katy Perry kind of a
"B-word " on American Idol tonight?)

I mean...I'm just saying....

EASY Cheese Spread

So if you are invited to a Super Bowl party this year to watch the Saints and the Colts battle it out (I had to say that since I think it's the first year I actually know who is in the Super Bowl)..... you might be wondering what you should take?

Here is a SUPER easy cheese spread that literally takes seconds to make and is DELICIOUS! My mom used to always make it for parties.

Here's what you need:

A package of Good Season's Dry Italian Dressing Mix:

And a box of cream cheese:

Simply cut the cream cheese in half length wise so that you have 2 sticks of cream cheese.

Then.... (this is the hard part) roll the cream cheese in the italian dressing mix.

Wow.... took a lot of effort right?! I told you it was super easy! Serve with your favorite crackers and people will love it, I promise!

Monday, January 25, 2010

You like me, you really like me! (I got an award!)

Thank you SOOO much to Short Southern Momma for giving me the
"Beautiful Blogger Award!" I'm so excited I can't see straight!

Be sure to read her awesome blog:

And....Here it is!!!

I'm brand new at this and it's awesome to get an award from one of my 8...haha...followers!

Here are the rules:

I'm supposed to tell 7 interesting things about myself and pass this award along to 7 other terrific bloggers!
So here I go...

1. I have never mowed grass. My bother always did it when I was young and now my husband does it. I love to say that I don't know how! : )

2. I LOVE Karaoke! I have my own machine and on any given day you might find me alone in my basement singing karaoke.

3. I have crazy dreams all of the time. In my last one I was giving birth and being chased by Nazis at the same time!

4. I look under the blankets every night before I get in bed.... ya know, in case there's a snake or a bug or something!

5. I got married at 19! I'm only 26 and have been married almost 7 years...and we still like each other!

6. I get addicted to stupid reality TV. It's like a bad wreck...I can't look away.

7. I was once approached in an Applebee's restroom about joining a prostitution ring... no joke! here are 7 bloggers that I'd like to pass this along to and you should check out:


Thursday, January 21, 2010

Yes...I'm a Vegetarian

I guess the look on my face today must have been transparent as I listened to one of my customers go on about how much he loved bacon, because he paused and said "oh're one of those vegetarians aren't you?"

"Why, yes I am."
"You don't eat chicken?"
"You don't eat beef?"
"You don't eat fish?"
"Why not?"
"Because it grosses me out and I don't want to eat it."
"So you don't eat ANY meat at all?"

Why do people look at me like I just told them aliens visit me every night? Yes, I'm a vegetarian. No, I'm not a member of PETA, and I won't go on about how awful you are that you eat animals. No, my husband is not a vegetarian and we co-exist just fine. And yes.... yes, I am getting enough B vitamins.

But thank you for worrying so much about my health. Would you like another beer before you go smoke?

Rain Rain, Go Away

I'm carefully writing this post to you while trying to balance Yoda (my chihuahua) on my shoulders..... okay I was until I tried to take a picture to show you and he ran off. He's camera shy.

It's raining outside and I don't want to go anywhere! Rainy days just make me want to stay in bed. Which is what I did, until about 9:30 this morning. Not good when you have to be at work by 10! I took a quick shower and rushed out the door just in time to be 10 minutes late. Oh well! Not too much business at a bar at 10AM anyway. In happier news... I got a $100 tip today! It made the whole day worth it! I was so excited about my tip that I was feeling pretty energetic on the way home, but that energy has disappeared. Now I'm listening to the rain outside and all I want is to curl up on the couch. Yoda, on the other hand, is ready to go out to play!

Sorry Yoda, the couch is calling me.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I'm a-dancing with myself, oh oh oh oh

Today I went in my room, shut the door, turned up some music, and danced around in front of the mirror like a little girl. I sang at the top of my lungs and danced until I had to stop and catch my breath! It was fabulous. I highly recommend it....

I hope when I'm 65 years old I'm still dancing around in my room by myself. That's living!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Blast From the Past: HATER

Wow, is every 14 year old girl as angry as I was when I was that age? I always look at girls when they are around 13 or 14, and I just feel sorry for them! It's such an awkward age. You're not really a kid..not really in with the "teenage" crowd yet. You're just awkward! I just want to go up to them, give them a hug, and say "don't worry, it will get better soon."

I was reading my old diary tonight from when I was 14 and I burst out laughing when I got to this. I have no idea what inspired me to write this, but I'm sure it was something completely dumb. It's just too funny not to share, so here you go:


I hate you.
I hate people who lie.
I hate parents who scream at their children.
I hate scary movies, and the feeling of helplessness.
I hate being good.
I hate this room because I have to be here.
I hate the sound of your voice and your words, and all that you are.
I hate this world.
I hate this pen.
I hate my hands and the way it always rains on Sundays.

Poor 14 year old me! I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to will be okay. Soon, mom will take you to get a makeover. You'll get your hair cut, get contacts, learn how to wear some make up...and things won't be so bad anymore! Haha. If you have a pre-teen girl in your life, go give her a hug!

Thursday, January 14, 2010

April and Oliver

So in the last several months, I am proud to say that I have read something else for enjoyment besides the Twilight Series...which I've read twice through. I have also read 3 other books worth mentioning. "The Time Traveler's Wife," "The Memory Keeper's Daughter," and "April and Oliver." I highly recommend all three books. But the one I think that impressed me the most was "April and Oliver," by Tess Callahan. It's a book about two childhood friends who have taken different paths in life, and who are forced back together by a family tragedy. Tension builds as Oliver, the responsible, newly engaged law student, finds himself drawn more than ever to the reckless, mystifying April - and cracks begin to appear in his carefully constructed life. I loved it. Here's an excerpt from one of my favorite parts. Read the book, and this part will move you as much as it did me:

They've been on the road a good forty-five minutes. "I'm pretty sure we've passed the diner." She eyes him.
"I thought we might go somewhere else," Oliver says. "It's a place you might remember. Do you mind?"
"I can't keep my eyes open."
"It's okay," he says. "Go to sleep."
She turns the radio on low, bypassing many stations before settling on one. "Ah, Horowitz," she says, leaning back.
"That could be anyone," he says stiffly. "In fact, I think it's Serkin."
"Horowitz," she repeats. "Do you know he didn't start practicing seriously until he was in his thirties?"
"He was a prodigy. He didn't need to."
"He was tortured," she says. "Then he came home."
"Left home, you mean."
"I wasn't talking literally."
When the song ends the announcer sighs, "Ah, the moonlight is audible. That was Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata, opus twenty-seven, number two, performed by Vladimir Horowitz." She feels Oliver glance her way but doesn't open her eyes. He knew it was him; of course he did.
To show his irritation, he switches to a commercial station. It's the Norah Jones song "Come Away with Me." April shields herself, telling herself it's just a pop tune, even though it cuts straight through her. She's heard it a hundred times in the bar, and every time she tries to shut the lyrics out of her mind before they crush her. She hates when a song can slice her open that way. Now, alone in the car with Oliver, she finds it excruciating. She prays not to cry. Oliver drives without speaking. The space between them feels like a living thing, with its own breath and nerve endings. She doesn't dare look at him. When the song ends, Oliver turns the radio off and they drive the rest of the way in silence.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Girl Who Can't Cry

So it's not news to anyone who knows me that I was a proud member of the drama club in high school. Okay...that's saying it lightly.... I was an obsessed, full blown, drama queen.

From freshman year on, my high school existence revolved around drama class and after school plays. I took my parts very seriously, even my small projects for class. I could write a book about my love and obsession for theater and acting...but don't worry, I won't. This story is short, and it started a few weeks ago while I was cleaning off a shelf in my basement. I came across my high school yearbooks, which of course turned into hours of reminiscing, instead of cleaning. And there it was, an inscription in the back of my junior yearbook, by a fellow drama nerd:

" the girl who can't cry."

It was true, I never cried. I never cried in real life, and I especially never could cry while acting. Not that I didn't try! As only a true drama queen would, I spent hours in my room listening to sad songs, reading monologues, and trying to connect with my emotions. And sure, I could cry alone in my room...but when faced with an audience....nothing. I faked it well enough, but there were no real tears. I even took a walkman (yes, I said walkman...I'm old) to school so that I could listen to Sarah Mclachlan's "I Will Remember You" before going on stage. At the time, I could think of no sadder song! And I even welled up a few times...but no real, dramatic, streaming tears!

Now years have passed and life has moved on from after school plays, lip syncs, monologues, and duets. But of course... I'm still a drama queen. So, the other night while home alone, I pulled out my old monologue books, and read aloud some of the scenes I had performed in high school. ....My dog thought I was amazing. Oscar worthy.

In the midst of my riveting performances, I came across a monologue that I had dog-eared back in high school as one I always wanted to do. It was from the movie "The Days of Wine and Roses." The monologue was by Kristie, an alcoholic, returning one last time to her husband, begging him to take her back, and seeking his forgiveness. The description read "She tearfully admits that she can never stop drinking completely." Well crap. That was out of the question! There would be no "tearfully" for me.

So 9 years later, sitting on my couch in my pj's, I read the monologue out loud. And without even a Sarah Mclachlan song playing in the background... tears began to flow. Easily, like clockwork! So, of course, testing my theory, I brushed away the tears, shook myself out of it, and started reading it again for a second time. Tears! Easy. Emotion. Easy!

Darn it, I thought. 9 years too late.

I guess at 17 I didn't quite understand what in life there was to cry about. I guess I had to live a little more, see a little more, understand a little more. I guess now I know that it's okay to cry sometimes.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Tip...or stay home. A bartender's rant.

"Ma'am, I don't doubt the steak was over-cooked, but did you have to eat it all before you complained about it?"

If you have ever watched the movie "Waiting," you may be wondering....."do things like that really going on at a restaurant?" Well, I'm here to answer your question: YES.

Being in the service industry is like having a front row seat at a freak show. Sometimes I really cannot believe the people that come through the door. And as a bartender, in particular, I find it my necessary duty to give you some advice on what to do, and not to do, while dining out. And before you think that I'm just another bitter service worker, I'd like to say that most of my customers are perfectly lovely. But to those of you who need a little help in the lovely department, here you go:

Okay, first of all, the DO NOT:

1. Unless it's at the bar, never seat yourself. The tables in a restaurant are divided up into sections that have servers assigned to them. If you just go and sit down, chances are you could be sitting in a section that is not assigned, and no one will come up to you. So yes, you'll sit there for a good 10 minutes stewing over the fact that no one has so much as taken your drink order, you'll get up and angrily say to an innocent bystander "um, excuse me, we have been sitting here for 10 minutes and no one has even come over yet!" At that point, the said innocent bystander will walk to the hostess stand, say "hey, we have some stupid self-seaters who are pissed off." This will result in the all the servers arguing over who has to take you.... see the point? Your night will not go well.

2. Don't say you're ready to order when you aren't. I've literally stood at a table for over 10 minutes before while the customer decided on what they wanted, though they said they were ready. Unless you're the only customer in the place, please, allow me to do my job, don't take 10 minutes to order. Thanks.

3. Do not whistle or yell from the other side of the restaurant to get your servers attention. It's just rude.

4. Pay attention to what you're ordering. If the menu says that the nachos come with cheese, lettuce, salsa, and onions, the nachos will come out with cheese, lettuce, salsa, and onions. Don't order them and then say, "I don't want these, they have lettuce all over them." said that on the menu.

And the most important:

5. DON'T BE A JERK. If you are a jerk, if you send food back every time you go to a restaurant, if your drink is never made correctly, and if you prefer not to tip...please....just stay home.

Okay.... so now for the DO part. These are insider secrets on how to get the best service at a restaurant, ready?:

1. Be nice. When you speak to your server or bartender, remember that they are a person too. Smile, be friendly, ask how they are doing. You will get better service.

2. Tip on the first round, then open a tab. At a bar, when you order your drinks, leave a great tip on the first round. Then, go back to the same bartender, and start a tab for the rest of the night. The bartender then knows that you're a great tipper. Your drinks will be better, and they will bypass other customers to get to you. Don't assume that bartenders split tips, they don't always.

3. Always tip at least 15%. A good tip is 15%. A better tip is 20% or more. If you had great service and you want to insure even better service in the future, tip 20% or more. If your service wasn't great, take into consideration how busy it was, and other factors. Always tip something!

4. Learn your server/bartender's name and ask for them in the future. Establish a relationship and come back! Trust me, we'll remember you as a good tipper and we'll do just about whatever you want to insure another good tip. But just as a warning, we will also remember you if you're a bad tipper, and we will not wait on you.

5. Be patient. If it's a busy night, look around and notice. You might have to wait a minute.

As a bartender, there's nothing better than a great customer! We enjoy serving you when you're kind, patient, and... you tip! Remember that servers make on average $2.15 an hour, and bartenders usually no more than minimum wage. We work for tips. And we'll work for long as you remember your manners!

And if in fact you decide to be a jerk....beware....the rumors are true.